West River…again.

I asked my ten-year-old son what he thinks I do for work. He had to think for a while, then said, "Well, I know you take pictures sometimes… and make films?" At least someone believes in my best-case scenario for my vocation. To be fair, both descriptions are true, although the marketable side of the work often skews me further toward the commercial end of the spectrum than I'd like.

This past July I traveled to western South Dakota for commercial video work. I was brought on as a hired gun to help crew a gubernatorial campaign and a separate documentary about the indigenous response to climate change. Despite common belief, the state’s social and political leanings are as varied as its landscape. I took my Olympus XA point-and-shoot on these trips, loaded with a roll of black and white 35mm film.

Near Union Center, SD - Kodak Ektapan 400 shot with Olympus XA

The demands of the work often keep me from taking the photos I’d like to. In Isabel, SD, a full moon cast a faint glow over the lone, silent street while a blanket of smoke from Canadian wildfires drifted in. In the garage of our current governor, there is a cardboard cutout of our former governor. The list could go on and on. Typically, I can grab a few shots on the road by pulling over when I can, while still trying to make good enough time to not arrive late.

There was a time when I struggled with how my time was being used for commercial work vs. my own creative projects. I think I’m slowly realizing that the tension doesn’t come from the jobs themselves. They are not something to be performed out of obligation, or in opposition to the holy grail of capital F film work. The struggle came from my own inability to feel like I had a choice both in the work I chose to take on and in my ability to hold space for the paying gigs and the aspirational ones.

The reality is that I’ve always had agency, it was just easier to not use it and go with the flow. Thus giving me a scapegoat for my own stalled attempts at personal creative work. In reality, my choices and actions are the only things I truly have at the end of the day. That ownership has lead to more satisfying client gigs and bigger leaps in my own personal work. A big part of that realization came from the simple act of carrying a film camera with me to these shoots. Finding unnoticed moments to capture and hearing stories from people I might not otherwise talk to both feed into my broader work as a filmmaker and photographer.

Wall Drug Dinosaur of I29 in South Dakota - Kodak Ektapan 35mm

I am grateful for these trips to remote locations, for the chance to work with people from all walks of life, and for the colleagues who round out the crew. The opportunity to make a life through photography and video production in a tiny market like South Dakota isn’t lost on me… or my son.

Grand Teton National Park